Counterfeit Living

October 6, 2017 by Melissa Jan

When I was a teenager, I was told that I should never watch soap operas. The reason was simple: they portrayed lives that were not realistic. The women were always perfectly coiffed and dressed. The men loved to talk about EVERYTHING. Life was not that exciting or interesting. This was reinforced when I was touring Europe with the United States Collegiate Wind Band the summer of 1978. When the family I was staying with in Buitenpost, the Netherlands found out I was from Texas, they immediately asked how many oil wells were in my back yard. They watched “Dallas” on television and believed it to be the ‘real’ Texas.

Fast forward to today. We still have the fantasies created by television shows. And, we have added reality TV & social media to shape the way we view life. All of these work together to create an unrealistic view of what life SHOULD be and how we SHOULD be living. As a result, there are many, many individuals living counterfeit lives. They are busy making things appear as they “should” and avoiding the reality that is life.

Have you talked to anyone that is of dating age recently? Most of them talk of getting married, buying a home and starting a family. But prevailing wisdom of today is to live together. The reasoning is that you can be sure it will last without the “big” commitment. But the reality is “I just don’t think it’s worth waiting until I’m married”. I remember being asked about waiting for marriage as a 20-something. The question was “What if the sex isn’t good?” My response, “If I don’t have anything to compare to, how will I know the sex isn’t good?” I was also raised to value myself and to know that marriage is more that sex. It’s commitment and building a life & family together. I’m not saying that waiting is easy. It is definitely not! And, the further down the path you go the more difficult it is to stop. What I am saying is that anything you value is worth the wait. You save money for a house, instead of buying a tent because “all my friends are”.

Counterfeit living is grabbing for all the advantages of life without any of the real commitment. Counterfeit living is pretending you are married when you are just “shacking up”. Counterfeit living is escaping into something (alcohol, drugs, shopping, games, television, etc.) to avoid facing a reality you don’t want to see. Counterfeit living is pretending you value yourself, but willingly give yourself away for the illusion of “living the life”.

Reality can be hard. Reality may mean walking away from something you really want in order to grow into a better person. Reality may mean saying “No” to pleasures that you don’t want to miss, but realizing you are worth more than the momentary pleasure. Reality may mean giving up control for just a moment and allowing others to follow their own path. Reality may mean manning up and facing the life you have chosen without whining or tattling about the person you “love” so much.

When my husband and I were dating, I told him I just wanted to make him happy. His response was “You are not responsible nor capable of making me happy. I choose to be happy or not. You can only provide opportunities for me to choose happiness.” Not very romantic, but entirely true. If I’m looking for circumstances or people to make me happy, I will never get there. I must choose to be happy in the circumstances I am presented with at the time. Real life doesn’t always provide opportunities for happiness. But, when the opportunities do arise, they are marvelous. Because, I can know the opportunites are real and solid and I can trust them. I can choose to be happy. I can choose JOY! Counterfeit living will never provide that. Counterfeit living will only cause questions to arise: “Is this real? Will this last?”

And for me, the only way to cope with reality is to turn to my faith.

“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

“Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,and blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD.” Proverbs 16:20

There are many people who have successful marriages after living in premarital relationships. And, I know many of them also live with years of guilt because they didn’t stand up for their own convictions. They will always have that small question “Would we still be together if we had waited? Was I worth it?”

I challenge you to look at your own life. Are you living in the reality of life with all of its struggles and joys? Are your walls stripped bare for all the world to see? Or, are you living in a counterfeit reality with facades that need constant attention and repair? Facades that provide for more stress and less happiness? When I was able to allow the facades to fall, I found an entirely new reality. I found a reality where I didn’t have to the strongest or the smartest or the best. I found there is contentment in just doing the best that I can in this moment. I still struggle and at times try to hide behind the old walls, but I’m no longer trapped and afraid to be honest.

Would I Follow?

September 21, 2017 by Melissa Jan

I am currently reading the book Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus. This book is Nabeel Qureshi’s personal account of his life as he went from a devout upbringing in the Muslim faith to find that Jesus Christ was indeed his personal savior. Throughout the book, the author talks of how simple it often was to shut down any Christian that tried to talk to him about faith in Christ. The reason it was so simple: the Christians had only a head knowledge of the “whys” of their own beliefs. They could not back up the normal rhetoric that is given to prove their beliefs.

I have been struck by many parts of this book. Most of all, I have to face that many of us cannot defend the faith we say that we have. Nabeel studied the Bible to be able to refute the usual comments. It wasn’t until he met someone who was willing and able to give him facts that Nabeel began to truly “hear” the message. On the flip side, Nabeel also had to come to terms with the fact that much of what he knew of his Muslim beliefs were based on what he had been told. Studying the Qur’an and other documents as he defended his childhood religion was very unsettling for him. Even though he have read the entire Qur’an by the time he was 5 years old, he didn’t know or understand much of the basics of his faith.

Nabeel Qureshi’s decision to follow Christ was not an easy choice. It took years to get to that decision. He had to weigh giving up EVERYTHING in order to follow the Christ of the Bible. This decision caused immense pain for both of his parents. In “Christianity Today”, he made this spoke about the effect his conversion had on his family:

“A few days later, the two people I loved most in this world were shattered by my betrayal. To this day my family is broken by the decision I made, and it is excruciating every time I see the cost I had to pay.

But Jesus is the God of reversal and redemption. He redeemed sinners to life by his death, and he redeemed a symbol of execution by repurposing it for salvation. He redeemed my suffering by making me rely upon him for my every moment, bending my heart toward him. It was there in my pain that I knew him intimately. He reached me through investigations, dreams, and visions, and called me to prayer in my suffering. It was there that I found Jesus. To follow him is worth giving up everything.”

I have to ask myself, “Would I do this?” I’ve lived a pretty easy life. Sure there have been bumps along the way, some of them very big bumps. When my first husband died, I struggled with my faith. I reviewed all that I said that I believed. And, I concluded that my faith in God was correct and real. But, I was never required to give up everything: my family, my core beliefs, the familiar. Would I do that? Could I defend my beliefs to another in a logical and cohesive manner? Would I be able to give details and truth? I wish I could give a resounding YES, but I’m not sure.

My family and I have been watching the Leah Remini show on Scientology. I often sit in astonishment at what people are willing to do and to give up for their beliefs in this “religion”. While reading Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, I have a different understanding of the Scientology followers: they too risk everything for their beliefs. The difference? Nabeel Qureshi’s Muslim upbringing did acknowledge parts of the Bible and recognize some of the same people as Christianity (although differently), he had a basis to build upon when confronted for Christianity. He was willing to debate and discuss to prove his point. Scientology doesn’t allow any questions. There is no debate. It’s all or nothing. As we have listened to people who have left Scientology, it is so sad to see that most have still not found salvation in Jesus. How do we as Christians help to fill the void? How do we take steps in this tender and painful area of trust for people’s of any faith that are hurt and searching? Do we really care? Do we really want to step out?

Again, I’m not sure. It’s more convenient to throw a tract or book at someone than to interact with them in any depth. It’s emotionally safer to invite someone to church than to sit down and have coffee and talk over and over again. It’s easier to only communicate about God when you need something by asking for “a little prayer for _____” instead of getting involved with God on a daily basis with His people. It’s less intimidating to just mind my own business and let someone else do the hands on stuff.

I’m challenged. I’m struggling.

For you see, standing up for one’s beliefs to those in your closest circle of family and friends can be hard, especially if they don’t agree. It takes balance to lovingly rebuke those who claim to be Christian and do not live as such. It takes a measured patience to be ridiculed as “old-fashioned” and “out of touch” when you have lived and may actually have a basis for this “old-fashioned” and “out of touch” advise. The easiest road may not be the best choice and momentary laughter does not mean a lifetime of joy.

Nabeel Qureshi passed away after a year-long battle with stomach cancer on September 16, 2017 at the age of 34. His parents were helping to care for him during his illness. I am so fortunate to have his story from which to learn. He has touched and continues to touch many lives with his stand for Christ.

Would you follow?

63,072,000

September 19, 2017 by Melissa Jan

Today is our wedding anniversary.

63,072,000 seconds

1,051,200 minutes

17,520 hours

731 days

104 weeks

24 months

2 years

I am so blessed to be married to this man who just wants to take care of me.

I will always be grateful for this man who opens doors for me, pulls out my chair and prepares my first cup of coffee every morning.

I am so happy that this mans works so hard, but still finds ways to make me laugh.

I will never underestimate the value of the man who loves and serves all of our adult children.

I will never take for granted this man who is so passionate about our life together.

He is my friend, my confidante, my joy, my lover, my husband. I love him more that I did two years ago, more than I thought possible.

Here’s to the rest of our lives together. Whether it’s for 1 second or 1 Billion seconds, I am so glad we get to spend it together!

wedding2015

^“²⁴Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

^25-28Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

^29-33No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.”

Ephesians 5:24-33 MSG

Invisible

July 26, 2017 by Melissa Jan

Do you ever feel invisible?

Are there times your voice is not heard? Is it because you do not speak up? Or are the other voices and sounds drowning you out?

Do you ever want to be, maybe even need to be, invisible?

When I was newly widowed, there were many times I felt invisible. I didn’t fit into any group. I was no longer married, but wasn’t quite single, either. My friends were still in the married group. I moved from “part of the group” to “third wheel” status in the blink of an eye. I didn’t know how to be seen. Others seemed to look through me, not ever seeing the ME that stood there. I didn’t know how to be seen, because I didn’t know how to see myself. I watched as others buzzed around and wondered how I could be so lonely in a such a busy group of people. I didn’t know how speak up, it was easier to fade away than to endure the pain of living in the world in which I no longer belonged.

One can be invisible for lots of reasons. When another’s need to be recognized is louder and more aggressive than your own, their need pushes all others out-of-the-way. I feel the shutters begin to close in around me. My opinion doesn’t matter. My voice in not important. Even the facts and information that I know are dismissed and discounted if they are not in agreement. I am forced to disappear within myself to avoid further conflict. It is often that very need to avoid conflict that pushes me further onto the sidelines. When I am helpless to change anything, when I’m caught on the carousel of life and there’s no way to regain control, I disappear.

There are times when I try to blend into the background. There are other times when I need desperately to be heard, to be seen. But, I’m invisible. It’s as if I’m speaking in an unknown language or wearing the cloak of invisibility. No one is listening. No one sees me. Regardless of how hard I try, I cannot break through. I begin to believe that I’m truly invisible, that I truly do not matter. And, that is the real problem. I accept the invisibility. I stop trying. I fade away.

We need to be aware of those invisible people that surround us. The invisible person may be that homeless person that has become a part of the background. The invisible person may be the senior citizen that tells the same stories over and over and over again. The invisible person may be the widow that reminds you how fragile life is. The invisible person may be a friend or family member that refuses to see things your way causing you to rethink your own ideas or decisions. Invisible people surround us. They work in the deli’s in our offices. They stand on the street corners. They are our neighbors, our friends, our family. We need to put on our “X-ray vision” and find those invisible people. We need to see them. Listen to them. We need to care.

God, investigate my life;
    get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
    even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
    I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
    before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
    then up ahead and you’re there, too—
    your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
    I can’t take it all in!

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
    to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
    If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
    to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
    you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
    At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
    night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

Psalm 139 :1-12 MSG

Joy (Take 2)

July 13, 2017 by Melissa Jan

I am in a second marriage. I was widowed in 2005. In 2015, I married my dearest friend who had been divorced for a few years. He was also a good friend to my late husband. We now have a blended family with five kids: the oldest is 28 and the youngest is 18. They’ve know each other through the years as they grew up in church together.

Marriage the 2nd time around is familiar and different all at the same time.

I married Terry in 1987. We were in our late 20’s. We thought we knew everything. We did everything together, even grocery shopping. Having lived on my own for 5 years, it took a bit of adjustment to have someone there all of the time. But, we adjusted to life together in our little one bedroom apartment. We learned to love together. We learned to disagree with each other. We learned to give up expectations and live for today. We learned to parent together. We grew together in our love of family and our love of God. And then, he was gone. I mourned the loss of my best friend, my husband, and my dreams for many years.

I’ve never understood when I hear negative comments about marriage. I was told once after Terry died, that I was lucky I didn’t have to put up with a man any longer. (I definitely didn’t agree!) I’ve listened to comments about the “poor saps” that were getting married soon and how foolish they were. I couldn’t comprehend “out-growing” my husband and moving on to greener pastures. How do you out-grow someone with whom you are growing daily? Couples that lived very separate lives always mystified me. Terry and I had our own careers. And, we were sometimes separated due to traveling for work. But, I talked to him every night regardless of our locations. While I might enjoy a day or two of being able to “do my own thing”, I counted the days until we were both home together again. And, I think he did too. Anytime Terry and I were in the same room, people knew we were together. He was my husband and I was his wife. I wanted every person around us to know that. I was proud to be married to him. Life wasn’t easy. We struggled with finances and work options. There were extended family issues that affected our little family. In later years, there were health issues to consider. But, we had committed to God and to each other to see it through until the end. We were together!

I married Tim in 2015. Being married in our 50’s is an experience. We both brought our own baggage into our marriage. We’ve endured the buying, remodeling and selling of a home, the buying and remodeling of another home, unemployment and the resulting financial problems, legal issues, the start-up our own business, joining a new church and just learning to be married to each other. We’ve both had to stop filtering every comment and action through our previous life experiences. I’m still working on my own insecurities and finding my place in our life together and with our children in this new family model.

There are always challenges in blending families. Regardless of the age of the children in a blended family there are issues. Jealousy about who likes who better. Protectiveness of “my mom” or “my dad”. While we strive to build new family traditions, there is pain as the old traditions are changed or even replaced. Each child has different expectations for family life. There have been tears and complaints, hurt feelings and joy since our marriage. I expect that to continue as we grow together.

I adore being married to Tim. At the same time, there are times that I still mourn for Terry and the things I miss sharing with him: our son, Zac’s wedding, the birth of Zac’s son, Gracie’s graduation from college and the purchase of her first home, etc. I also walk into unknown territory as a step-mom: Where do I fit? How involved is too involved?

The joys far out-weigh the trials. Maybe because I’ve endured the loss of a husband, I truly treasure my time with Tim. My views haven’t really changed. I still believe marriage is for a life-time. I still believe that we are to “become one” in every way. There is no “out-growing” each other. I still believe in unconditional love. I believe I have been incredibly blessed to find such a deep and abiding love the 2nd time around. I still get butterflies when I hear his voice. I still count the days, the hours and the minutes when we are separated. To walk into a room holding my husband’s hand, is still one of the greatest thrills for me. I can find the happiness we all say we want, because of the joy and peace that I have in my marriage today.

I am so glad I was given a chance at joy the second time around.

Five Minute Friday – Grateful

May 9, 2014 by Melissa Jan

Featured Five Minute Friday:
Here’s the deal. Five Minute Friday. You go find the little prompt at the wonderful Lisa-Jo’s blog, set the time and write for five minutes, and then just stop. Where you are, no edits, just publish raw words.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on the word:::

Grateful
GO

Some mornings, I look around and wonder if it’s really worth all of the hassle and effort. It would just be easier to stay in bed and hide from the world. I listen to that inner voice that keeps telling me that I’m not good enough or that I’m failing in some way. But, I’m reminded of the truth in Psalm 16:11 “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” And, I remember.

I remember that no matter how sad I may feel at time, God is there to lift me up. He provides friends and encouragement. I don’t need to spend time thinking about what was or what will never be. God has my life planned. He has “eternal pleasures” for me.

I remember the gifts He has already given to me: a good (if too short) marriage, true and faithful friends that listen and encourage, beautiful kids that have joined with me to overcome the grief that death brings, a supportive and loving family. How can I doubt?

When life doesn’t go quite as planned (or even reasonable close for that matter), I am still grateful. Not always for the events in life, but definitely for the experiences, the learnings and the love.

I am grateful.

Memories

March 17, 2014 by Melissa Jan

My mind floats back to days when life just seemed simpler:
Playing chase or hide-and-seek with the neighbors.
Hours of pretending the cellar door was a mountain that had to be conquered and then rolling down the gentle hill to start over again.
Taking turns being the “mother duck” and letting the real ducks follow us all over the yard.
Sitting in the back seat with my brother and cousin while our mothers would look for birds and being told to “Be quiet”. A lot.
Staying up late and then rushing to turn the TV off before the National Anthem was played and the test screen signaled the end of another day.
Climbing the antenna tower that held the TV antenna that provided all three television stations.
Trying to crawl under the house, only to chicken out because is was dark and spooky and just thinking about it made it hard to breath.
Walking along the creek and gathering cattails and wild flowers or running through the deep gully’s that were cut into the red dirt.
Gathering eggs in the evening with my grandmother or watching her scoop the cream off the top of the bucket of milk that Grandpa brought in after milking the cows.
Watching Grandpa “saucer” his coffee in the morning while eating hot biscuits with fresh churned butter.
Going to the lumber yard with Daddy to get a new jump ropes: one long enough to use with friends at school and one just long enough to jump alone.
Learning to jump rope and hula-hoop and climb the monkey bars and play kick-ball and twirl a baton with my friends at school.
Complaining about the pins when I had to try on new clothes my Mom was making for me.
Taking my sister to the swimming pool in the front basket on my bicycle.
The excitement of a birthday party.
Sitting on Granny’s front porch eating watermelon or Easter eggs or home-made ice cream.
Hours spent selecting and then playing with paper dolls cut out of the Sears, Montgomery Ward and Penney’s catalogues with my aunt.
Taking a cold drink on a hot day to my dad while he plowed the wheat fields and then getting to ride the tractor with him.
Early morning swimming lessons with Mr. Erwin in the COLD water of the City Pool.

I was always so eager to be older and to be an adult. Adulthood has its good points, but it also comes with LOTS of responsibilities. Enjoy today. You will never get it back.

Five minute Friday – Encouragement

January 17, 2014 by Melissa Jan

OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

Encouragement

My son is an athlete. Actually, a very good athlete. He was recruited to play football and to wrestle after high school. I watched him mature as an athlete and was amazed at how different coaches got different results from him. One coach was sure he had to break every kid down before he could build the athlete he wanted. The other coach saw the need to encourage my son and tell him how good he was and what he was capable of accomplishing. Coach O’Connell knew that the secret of success is encouragement. And my son won lots of medals because of him.

When I was in high school, my band director treated everyone of his band students as if they were state qualifiers. He spent as much time with the clarinet player with no rythmn as he did with the State bound flute player. There were students in his program that had never heard words of encouragement from any one. Mr. Streit was an encourager. And he produced an all state band from that little Texas town.

I have tried to incorporate those ideals of encouragement as I raised my own children and as I work with children and adults in my ministry areas. It’s so important to find the parts of our lives that God wants to use. When we think we are not good enough, God reminds us that He loved us enough to send His own son for ME. I need only to look up to see the encouragement of God’s love.

Gifts

January 4, 2014 by Melissa Jan

I’m at an interesting place in my life. My kids are (mostly) grown so Christmas at our house is different, now. It doesn’t seem that many years ago that I scoured the store aisles for the elusive White Power Ranger or the perfect Cabbage patch doll. We would make a late night trip to Wal-greens to get those last few things to put in the stockings and stay up late to assemble and wrap gifts long after the children are asleep. Those times are in my past. I still look for that perfect Christmas gift for each of my kids, but some of the excitement is gone.

Now, my kids are asking ME what I want for Christmas. And, I have a hard time coming up with any ideas. I’d rather give gifts and see the smiles and enjoyment that get “stuff” for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I like gifts. I prefer gifts from the heart that truly mean something to both parties. When Terry and I were first married, there wasn’t much money to spend on each other for Christmas. So, we agreed to spend only $25 each on stocking stuffers. We had so much fun that year trying to be creative and maybe a bit practical, that we continued the tradition in the following years. My grown children still get stuff in their stockings. My daughter has told me on more than one occasion that her Christmas stocking is the best part of Christmas.

I’ve accepted over the years that it’s not the biggest or most expensive gift that matters. The gifts that mean the most are those that speak the recipients love language. The one thing Terry gave me that I will always remember was ear plugs. Now most people wouldn’t be excited about foam ear plugs. But, Terry snored. Snored LOUDLY. That package of ear plugs meant he was really paying attention to me. He listened and understood when I spoke. He was speaking my primary love language of Quality Time with his gift. He also touched on my close 2nd love language: Words of Affirmation. When I opened the ear plugs he told me that I was important to him.

I am a gift giver. And I don’t always get the right gifts for others. But my prayer for 2014 is this: I will be more attuned to the love languages of those that I care about and I will meet their needs this year. That I will demonstrate it’s not all about the gifts. It’s about caring and sharing and loving the people with which God surrounds me.

Do you know your Love Language?

Holidays

November 24, 2013 by Melissa Jan

Holidays. Just say the word and for many of us it brings to mind parties and fun, trees and sparkly lights, decorating and packages, time with friends and family. But for some, it means bittersweet memories and tears, forced smiles and avoidance, noisy crowds and irritation. I talked to two different people today that mentioned difficult holiday emotions. For one, this is the first try at Thanksgiving and Christmas after losing a spouse. The other is facing the 3rd round of navigating the holiday season. Both are facing some difficult emotions.

The first holiday season after Terry died is a little blurry in my memories. Our loss was still just weeks old when we were faced with Thanksgiving. Christmas followed close behind while grief still had a stronghold on our lives. Thankfully, we were staying with a friend and spent the actual holidays with family, so decorating decisions were a non-issue. The following year we spent Thanksgiving in Oklahoma for a wrestling tournament. My only concession for Christmas decorations that year was a pre-lit, six inch tree.

In 2008, Gracie wanted to do Christmas right. I wasn’t sure how to face the memories, but I was determined to fulfill her request. I decided to stray from the traditional decor and go outside of the box. Every color my mother said wasn’t “Christmasy” was now on our tree. We bought pink, purple & lime green feather boas to use as garland. If it was hot pink, purple, orange or green, it was a decoration for our tree. We used flamingoes, glittered Santa’s and a few teddy bears from previous trees. The tree skirt was a hot pink sequined scarf. I even had two 4 foot tall stuffed flamingoes that stood guard. The only things banned from our tree was the traditional green and red. It was a new look at Christmas for us.

As the years have passed, more of the old ornaments from past years have been added. We make the cookies and peanut brittle and snacks that Terry loved. And we’ve added some new recipes. I’ve decided it’s okay to eat out for the holiday meals. Not having to worry about cooking the perfect meal relieved a lot of stress for all of us. We’ve kept a few things in our holiday traditions and added some new things. It works for us.

If you know someone that is facing the holiday season with more dread than joy, don’t avoid sharing your holiday excitement. Invite them to be a part of your holidays, whether it’s a party or a program at church or a cup of a special holiday coffee. And don’t be offended if your offers are refused. Keep offering. Because someday, they’ll be ready to share your excitement and joy. It will just look a little different on them.

Melissa's Musings

on purple and other important things. . .

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