Church, Why Bother?


In today’s world, there is a lot of discussion about the church, both universal and local congregations.  The universal church is comprised of all Christians of all times and places.  As Christians or Believers, we gather in local congregations for worship, etc.   For purposes of this discussion, the term “church” references the local congregation. 

I grew up in church.   I was on the cradle roll.  I remember my first Sunday School class as a 3 year old with Mrs. Carter.  Church on Sunday was normal and expected.  I never really questioned why we went to church.  It’s what we did. I was an adult before I realized that attending church wasn’t really a requirement and that people around me actually survived without attending church.

I grew up in the Southern Baptist denomination.  We had  Sunday School and a worship service on Sunday morning.  Sunday evenings, we had Training Union and another worship service.  Wednesday night was for another service called Prayer Meeting, but it seemed to me that it was just a smaller Bible study service.  I was part of the youth choir so that meant attending rehearsals.  I grew up as a Sunbeam, a GA and an Acteen, more meetings during the week.  There were special book studies for the various mission emphasis times: Lottie Moon at Christmas, Annie Armstrong at Easter, and Mary Hill Davis in September.  We have revival meetings twice a year that lasted a week and included a noon meeting and and evening service and maybe a special emphasis night for youth.  I attended Vacation Bible School every summer for a week.  (I remember having 2 weeks of VBS, too.)  And, then there was GA camp, Youth camp and other youth events/trips to conferences and music festivals.  I spent a lot of time in church related activities.  I was well versed in what was expected of me and the respect that I needed to give through my attitudes and presentation.

As a college student, I learned the difference in attending church and being a part of worship.  There is a big difference.  I spent most of my life attending church.  Realizing what it meant to truly worship revolutionized my life.  People worship in lots of ways.  Some are very quiet and private with their worship.  Some people raise their hands and lose themselves in the worship experience.  Some believe that speaking in tongues is a requirement to worship.  Some believe you have to worship on your knees.   However you worship is between you and God.  I cannot stress how important it is to just be in the moment and worship openly from the heart.  It is not my right or my responsibility to judge how you worship.  Some of the sweetest worship times for me occurred during music rehearsals for the services and not during the actual worship services.   I served as a worship leader and as such couldn’t really get completely caught up in my own worship experience during the services.  But, rehearsals were different.  I could allow my heart to truly worship my audience of One. 

As a young, newly married adult, I served with my husband in several churches across the area.   One in particular comes to mind.  It was a small church in a changing area of the city.  No longer a middle class neighborhood, they struggled to survive.  It was a traditional Southern Baptist Church.  We sang hymns, had a choir and used both a piano and organ for the music.  I sat through service after service and starved spiritually.  This was a church that refused to adjust to the changes around them.  Reaching the local people was not really on the agenda.  The church was there to provide a food bank but we didn’t really want “those” people inside the church.  We were eventually asked to resign because my husband was getting too involved with the local troubled kids.  I have never been as wounded by a group of people in my life.  It took a long time for me to trust the local church, again.

As an adult, I am very involved with my church.  Things have changed.  I have realized that in order to have church you do not have to have a church building.  My church meets in a movie theater.  There are numerous churches in this area that rent space in the local schools.  Portable churches are an accepted and even exciting way to do church in today’s world.  People that are hesitant about the formal church are more open about attending in a non-typical arena.  We see it every Sunday at the Bridge.  It’s a sad truth that many churches thrive and grow until they finance and build a building.  Then, the excitement is cooled as the need to support the building and it’s upkeep comes front and center. 

I have come to understand and support Life Groups as the core of the church.  While Sunday School had it’s place in my life, I have grown more through Life Groups.  They provide a casual and far more personal way to engage in spiritual growth.  Life Groups provide a more relatable group in  which to learn  and to grow.  It’s much easier to be open in a group of ten to twelve than in a huge group.  Life groups create a feeling of family and acceptance.  They get down to the day to day needs in our lives and enable us to fully worship when the time is offered. 

Music has definitely morphed through the years.  We have the old hymns, we have the older contemporary music and we have the new worship music.  I learned to play the piano using the Baptist Hymnal.  It was blue.  When that hymnal was updated, it caused a lot of excitement.  There were “contemporary” songs included like “He’s Everything to Me”, “Pass It On”, and “Because He Lived”.  People that never really cared about music suddenly preferred the “old hymnal”.  (I was pianist at one church in the 80’s that still used the old Broadman Hymnal because “it was just better.”)  I still have copies of all three hymnals and enjoy the music contained in them.  But, I also love the “new” stuff. Of all the things people use as an excuse to avoid church involvement, music and the use of other creative arts seem to top the list.  No matter what is provided, someone is not happy. 

Recently, I’ve seen a few posts on social media that were critical of using the church services for “entertainment”.  I suspect that the church I attend would fall in that category to the outside observer.   This generation is known for being global, social, visual and technological.  In the last decade, the cell phone has revolutionized the way we collect and perceive information.  Instead of carrying a Bible in book form, the Bible App has become a mainstay for many.   Hymnals have been replaced with projection systems.  Church Bulletins are more reminders to go to the church website for information than actual information. 

While we tend to focus on the musical influences in church services, there are a multitude of creative arts that can and are used to promote worship. No longer is the primary instrument in a church the organ and/or piano.  A full band is now expected.  In the past, we all took piano lessons and would be expected to play at church.  Now, its guitar or drum lessons.  Praise Dancers are not a new concept, but they are more widely accepted across denominations now.  My late husband was a creative soul and loved to write and perform skits for the worship services.  He was also a proponent of building backgrounds to enable all of the senses to be engaged in worship.  Lighting, sound and (for lack of a better word) theatrics have taken their place in the worship services.  We want our services to be on point, on time and worth remembering. 

With all of the opinions on the type of service, where the services are held, the target audience, what to wear and what music to use, we often lose sight of the reason we are there: TO WORSHIP.  It hurts this believer’s heart when factions within the local church start bickering and criticizing each other and/or other churches/denominations.  How can we expect to present ourselves as the Body of Christ when we continue to pick at each other?  How do you know that the brilliantly staged service doesn’t open the hearts of the congregation to worship?  Just because it doesn’t fit into “MY” model, does that make it wrong?  Maybe we need to take heed of the message in the book of Ephesians: 

“But that doesn’t mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift. The text for this is,

He climbed the high mountain,
He captured the enemy and seized the booty,
He handed it all out in gifts to the people.

Is it not true that the One who climbed up also climbed down, down to the valley of earth? And the One who climbed down is the One who climbed back up, up to highest heaven. He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ’s followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ’s body, the church, until we’re all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God’s Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.”  Ephesians 4:7-13 MSG


Lonely in a Crowd

Have you ever found yourself filled with loneliness while you are in a group of people? You look around at those surrounding you, but you don’t connect. You may not have anything in common with others in the room. Or, there may be underlying tensions that keep you separated. This kind of loneliness is difficult at best and isolating at worst.

As I have been thinking about the Christmas story, I began to consider the journey that Mary and Joseph undertook to get to Bethlehem. Usually it is depicted as a solitary and lonely journey: just the two of them traveling on a deserted road. But, this year it occurred to me that they were probably not all alone on that road. The entire Roman Empire was traveling to ancestral hometowns.

About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant. Luke 2: 1-5 MSG

It’s quite possible that Mary and Joseph were traveling on a very busy road. There were very likely other relatives making the same trek. But unlike other journey’s that would be made as part of a large family caravan, Mary and Joseph were very alone on this journey. The reason is clear: Mary was Joseph’s pregnant fiancee, not his wife. Her pregnancy was an opportunity for gossip and judgement and maybe some shame and scorn from family members. We don’t really know details, but Joseph’s original reaction to Mary’s news gives us some insight into how this pregnancy was perceived.

The birth of Jesus took place like this. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. Before they came to the marriage bed, Joseph discovered she was pregnant. (It was by the Holy Spirit, but he didn’t know that.) Joseph, chagrined but noble, determined to take care of things quietly so Mary would not be disgraced. Matthew 1: 18-19 MSG

As I think about Christmas in 2018, I wonder, how many of us are surrounded by people but still feel totally isolated? There are many things that can contribute to the isolation. The normal tensions that exist within a family unit may result in a feeling of detachment. New family situations that result from death, divorce or a even new marriage may greatly influence the family temperament. A death in the family will make traditions either too precious to forget or too painful to observe. Each family member will react with different expectations or preferences. Melding or ignoring the new needs may create a strong resentment within the family. Divorce always stresses and changes the family dynamic and as a result the holiday season. When anyone within the family gets married, old traditions are stretched and strained. Now there are multiple family traditions and locations to be considered and blended. Seemingly small things like what food will be served, special church service attendance, multiple family gatherings as well the cost of gifts can become contentious. Hurt feelings and blame placing only contribute to feelings of isolation.

As I approached this 2018 holiday season, it was too easy to dread the upcoming holidays. This is just my fourth Christmas as part of a blended family that includes my husband, and our five adult children, two daughters-in-love and a precious grandson. We are still figuring out how to build our own family traditions. Trying to coordinate our blended family plans with their own extended family events can be overwhelming. I love looking for that perfect gift for each person in my family and it gets more and more difficult the older they get. And this year, I determined to enjoy this holiday time. This year, I will give full attention to my family and not be overtaken with self doubt and feelings of failure when I do not meet the expectations of others. I cannot keep everyone happy. That is a choice made by each individual.

This Year, I will focus on the celebration of the birth of my Savior.

“There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God’s angel stood among them and God’s glory blazed around them. They were terrified.

The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”

At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:Glory to God in the heavenly heights,Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.

As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. “Let’s get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us.” They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.

Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they’d been told!     Luke 2:8-20 MSG


Am I Human or Just Dumb?


To err is human, to forgive divine. All people commit sins and make mistakes. God forgives them, and people are acting in a godlike (divine) way when they forgive.

“An Essay on Criticism”  by Alexander Pope

We all make mistakes in life.  Some are more painful than others.  The assumption is that we learn  from the mistakes and  do not repeat the same one.  The reality is, you can can only make a mistake once:  the 2nd time is a choice. So, if we keep making the same mistake/choice, does that mean we are just dumb?  All through life, we learn things.  Sometimes, we take the advice and teachings of those around us.  But, there are the times that we get burned testing our boundaries.

When I was a child, I was fascinated watching my mother test the heat of the iron.  She would touch her finger to her tongue and then touch the the bottom plate of the iron.  I decided that I wanted to iron my paper doll clothes.  So, I did all of the things I had observed my mother do in the past.  Except, I didn’t lightly touch the iron.  I pressed my index finger to the metal plate.  I had been told many times not to touch the iron because it would burn me.  The pain and the resulting blister (and the scorched paper doll dress) were reminders to heed the warnings. 

But, my need to prove myself didn’t stop there.  It was around the same time of my life.  We were at an Easter egg hunt at my grandparents farm in Foard City.  It was a big family get-together and there were lots of eggs to find.  My Aunt Ruth, who was just a few years older than me, stopped me and pointed out some pretty pink flowers and pointedly told me NOT to pick them.  I went on about the business of hunting eggs, but I kept thinking about those bright pink flowers.  Ruth and I often would go pick wildflowers around the farm and I wondered why she was being so selfish about those pretty flowers.  In hindsight, I don’t think I had even noticed the flowers before being told to leave them alone.  But, now, I was obsessed with them.  I decided to show my aunt that I could pick any flower I wanted and deliberately grabbed the bright pink blossoms with both hands. 

Prickly Pear Cactus

If you have ever encountered a Prickly Pear Cactus, you know about the sharp spines.  I didn’t manage to pick any of the flowers, but I did get both hands full of needles and spines.  All because I was so caught up in having my own way and not paying heed to warnings that I had received.

From the time of Adam and Eve in the garden, we have been inclined to test every rule and push every boundary.  If the speed limit is 60 mph, we drive 65 mph or more.  A sign that says “WET PAINT” is more of an invitation to touch it than a warning.  We make dumb comments for excuses when ignoring rules or warnings: 

  • “It’s just a little white lie.  It doesn’t hurt anyone”
  • Texting isn’t a problem when I drive”
  • “If I can serve my country at 18, I should be able to drink!”
  • “It’s not cheating on my spouse if I’m not happy.  I deserve to be happy”
  • “God wouldn’t have brought him/her into my life if He didn’t want us together.”
  • “As long as I go to church on Sunday, I can do anything I want.”
  • “I don’t need a church to feel close to God.  I am a spiritual person and do just fine on my own. 

And my favorite dumb comment. . .

  • “It’s just sex.  It’s not important.  It doesn’t mean anything”

I have done things in my life that were just dumb.  I would bet most people have.  I have hurt other people and I’ve had to apologize for my actions/words.  And, I’ve been wounded by people for whom I cared deeply and then I had to learn to forgive.  I’ve got a good grasp on the “err” and “dumb” actions.  The “divine” part is a little harder. 

I’m grateful that God is divine.  He is forgiving and merciful.  I try to remember that I really don’t want life to be fair, because I want the benefits of mercy in every situation.   Even so, I know there are consequences when I step over the line.  The results may not be as evident as a blistered index finger or a hand full of cactus spines, but there are penalties that have to be paid.  Whether it is a fine for a speeding ticket or the loss of the trust and respect of my loved ones, there are always consequences. 

A favorite verse from the Old Testament talks about consequences and forgiveness:

If I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or if I command the locust swarms to eat up all of your crops, or if I send an epidemic among you,  then if my people will humble themselves and pray, and search for me, and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear them from heaven and forgive their sins and heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:13-14 TLB

There will be payment for breaking the rules,  choosing to rebel or ignoring the guidelines and instructions you have been given in this life.  Usually, the retribution is much worse than the enjoyment of the moment of rebellion.  My prayer is that I become more divine, more God-like in my choices.  I must face my issues and follow the best path, not necessarily the one that benefits me the most.  I must forgive those that cause me pain and be willing to pray for them, even when I just HATE doing that.  I must honor my promises and my vows in all areas of my life. 

What do your choices in life say about you?  Are you just human or moving toward the divine?  How many will admit to just being dumb when it comes to making decisions?


Where Is the Joy?

I admit it, I struggle during the holiday season.  There was at time when I loved getting ready for Thanksgiving.   Planning the perfect meal.  Visiting with family and friends. We even went to the big parade in downtown Houston.   I think I was more excited than my kids about Christmas.   I loved the excitement and the fun of the holidays.  It was a wonderful time.  There are many wonderful memories.

But grief changed all of that.  The idea of planning and cooking became a chore.  So, we started eating out.  It took a few years before I could face putting up a Christmas Tree and even then it was totally different from what had been our “norm”.  Instead of red & green, it was pink, purple and lime green.  We used feather boas instead of tinsel.  It was as far away as I could get from the memories of Christmas’ Past.  I couldn’t seem to entirely enjoy the holidays because I was haunted by what “might have been”.

Three years ago, our holidays changed once again.  We now have a blended family.  We now must consider all five of our kids and their spouses/significant others and their schedules.  They have other interests and families to consider.  It’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy of fighting for time.  And the holiday events become competitions instead of joyful celebrations.  Quality family time is lost in the quest to get to every house and every meal.

Honestly, my response can be much like the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys from “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”:  feeling sorry for myself and expecting to miss the fun and excitement again this year.  It’s too easy to  feel that no one cares.  It’s very convenient to focus on “ME” instead of looking at the larger picture.

I’m really trying this year.  I want to be excited about the holidays.  I don’t want family quarrels to overshadow what should be a joyful time.  I don’t need to feel like I’m placing 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) in a competition that doesn’t even exist.  I’m trying to accept that perfection should not be my goal this year.  And, I’m focusing on building special memories wherever  and whenever I am able.  It may be a quiet meal with just my husband on Thanksgiving Day or a bigger, busier meal with most of the crew over the weekend.  Both, are times to create memories.

I know there will still be tender places.  Putting up the holiday village that belonged to my late husband or unwrapping his Santa collection will be bitter-sweet.  I’ve already got a new Santa Ornament to add.   Pulling out the old ornaments from the early days of our children will unlock some emotions, both good and bad.   I’m on the lookout for a 2018 snow globe to add to the collection I began in 2015 on our first Christmas as Mr. & Mrs.  Douglas. And, I’m prepared to accept the critique of “too much purple” on the tress.

This year, the big tree will go up early (at least for me!)  I’m working on handmade angel ornaments for a smaller tree.  I’ve already planned a Holiday dinner for my co-workers and I look forward to sharing our home and hospitality.  Christmas gifts won’t be flashy, but I hope that they meet a need for the recipients.  We will be baking goodies and sharing with the neighbors (and trying not to over indulge in the sweets.)  There will be carols and hot chocolate and I  will try to be present in the moments as they occur.

This year, I will strive to give thanks for the numerous blessing in my life: my family, my job, my home, my church and so many more that I tend to take for granted.  I will try to remember that the excitement of Christmas is not about the gifts we give, but about the love that was gifted to us through the birth of Christ.  I will remember that time spent with our friends and family is precious and not waste it wishing for something different.   This year, I will accept the emotions as they arrive, deal with them and move forward.

This year, I will find the Joy in MY holiday season.

 

Do I Really Matter?

When I read newspaper articles or posts made on social media, I become overwhelmed.  There is so much going on in the world around us.  I do not understand the ugliness that seems to have become the norm.  We’ve just finished the mid-term elections.  I’ve seen this meme posted several times:

adult

Today was the first time I saw someone take issue with it, however. I have to admit, I kind of understand from where the person’s angst arises.  Within relationships, we find things in common.  On the flip side, if I’m supporting something that is harmful to you or your family, we are probably not going to remain friends.  I understand that.  I can even accept that.  But, does that mean we have to agree on EVERYTHING!  If so, I’m in trouble.  And that’s when I begin to feel overwhelmed.  How can I make it in a world when I’m going to find differences with everyone?  Am I doomed?  I can feel the panic rising as I type.

I have mixed feelings about a lot of issues.  And, I feel strongly about some issues as well.  As I have progressed in this life, I have become more conservative in my views.  Well, I don’t know that I’ve become more conservative, I’ve just been more willing to voice my opinions on some matters.

  • I’m not a feminist, but I do support women in the workplace.
  • I think all people deserve to be protected regardless of their race, personal partner choices or beliefs.  But, I don’t think any of these categories should make one group more important or relevant over any other group.
  • I am right to life.  I do not support abortion as a form of birth control.   I believe we need to step up and understand the responsibilities and consequences that come  as a result of the “free love” agenda our society teaches.  We have to find a better way to support the mothers in finding homes with loving families.
  • I believe ALL lives matter.  There are bad people of every color, race and sex.  As the Jackson 5 song said “One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch”.  We have to stop teaching hate to  people.
  • I don’t support socialized government.  Nothing is free.  Ever.

As I consider all of the angst and hatefulness that has occur in the just the past year both locally and nationally, I am prone to think “Do I really matter?  Is there anything that I can do to make a difference in the world? Do I have the right to make decisions based on my own values without being judged?”

I can’t change what happens anywhere but where I choose to plant myself.  In the Houston area, we saw amazing things happen after Hurricane Harvey.  People worked together and made a huge difference in the lives of others.  We saw all kinds of people unite, not because their ideals or beliefs matched.  They united because there was a need and that was what needed to be accomplished.

I can make a difference in my country and my city.  I can vote my conscience.  I can be part of the community by caring about the needs of my neighbors.  I can make myself aware of what should to be changed and support the good that is being done in and around me without throwing stones (or arrows.)  I need to be an accomplice of change, not any ally.  An accomplice is one who acknowledges there is a problem and then commits to stand in the gap without hope or expectation of reward. An ally is passive; an accomplice is active.

I can make a difference in my home.   I can teach my children and my grandchildren. my belief system as well as my own views.   And, then decide love and support them as they develop their own path.  My adult children haven’t made the same choices that I did or that I would have preferred in some cases.  However, I am only responsible for teaching, guiding and loving them. The consequences of their choices, good and bad, are totally on them.  I will not “disown” family members for taking a different stand than my own.  (I’ve seen it done.  It doesn’t work!)

I can make a difference in myself.  I can expand my horizons by reading and considering the views and opinions of others.  I can stay centered and calm in the midst of the chaos of life, taking only “small bites” as I can along the way.  I can choose to be happy and content where I am instead of chasing the “next good thing.”  I can accept the consequences of my choices and refuse the guilt of not being “good enough” for others.  I can trust in my God (and this is most important for me) to show me where and when and how to live this life that I have been given.

I don’t know where you stand on any of the issues, political or moral.  I don’t expect to change anyone’s mind on the issues.  I do, however, request you to respect my right to have my own view and opinions.  I will never agree with everyone on everything.  I have an inborn need to disagree on some level.  Our disagreements  and differences in viewpoints are what make us who we are.  It’s what makes us interesting instead of boring.  What do you think?  Can you make a difference?

Do I really matter to you?

If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you’ll get slapped in the face;
    confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.
So don’t waste your time on a scoffer;
    all you’ll get for your pains is abuse.
But if you correct those who care about life,
    that’s different—they’ll love you for it!
Save your breath for the wise—they’ll be wiser for it;
    tell good people what you know—they’ll profit from it.
Skilled living gets its start in the Fear-of-God,
    insight into life from knowing a Holy God.
It’s through me, Lady Wisdom, that your life deepens,
    and the years of your life ripen.
Live wisely and wisdom will permeate your life;
    mock life and life will mock you.

Proverbs 9:10-12 MSG

 

 

 

 

Marriage: Jackpot or Pothole

I recently saw an article titled “If Your Husband Does These 13 Things, You Hit the Marriage Jackpot”. As I read through the 13 items, I was quite pleased.   I DEFINITELY hit the jackpot with my husband!

  1. He encourages and inspires you.
  2. He can comfort and calm you.
  3. He still flirts with you.
  4. He works hard.
  5. He loves spending time with you.
  6. He loves and respects his mother.
  7. He complements you often.
  8. He is selfless.
  9. He says “I love you” often.
  10. You are his #1 priority (after his relationship with God.)
  11. He surprises you.
  12. You are a team.
  13. He admits when he is wrong.

As I looked at the list, I began to wonder: Does my husband believe that he also hit the jackpot, or do I tend to be more of a pothole?   A Jackpot is something we all want.  We avoid potholes.  They cause damage and expand with every contact.   I want my husband to see how deeply I treasure him.  At times, I may require more than I offer, but  I will strive to be the “jackpot” wife he deserves.

What about you? Are you a jackpot or a pothole?

jackpot

Decisions = Consequences

Decisions are an everyday part of life. And every decision results in a consequence of some kind, good or bad.  If I decide to turn off my alarm and sleep an extra 30 minutes, the consequences are rushing to get ready for my day and leaving the house a later than usual.  For every 5 minutes later that I enter the freeway, I reap an additional 10 minutes in Houston traffic.  Was that extra sleep really worth the added stress to my day and drive?  Honestly, it depends on the day.  But, usually, I regret that decision to stay in bed.  And yet, I have this conversation with myself every single morning.

We all make decisions. We decide to do the dishes tonight or wait until later.  In school, it was when (or maybe if) I would study for a test or do my homework.  Every interaction with others begs a decision:  will I be kind and respectful, distant and unattached, or pushy and rude? Sometimes a decision to NOT decide becomes your decision by forcing another to make the call.  At least that way, I have plausible deniability, right? It’s not really my responsibility, because YOU decided this one.  Why is making a decision so daunting at times?  Even when it’s a “good” decision, we seem to fear the consequences of our very actions.  Why?

Maybe this is what we fear: ME.  My “personal preference meter” isn’t a very reliable source for making decisions.  When MY happiness, MY comfort becomes more important than how it affects the ones that depend upon and trust me, the consequences may be difficult to live with on a long term basis.  Our society has become more and more focused on doing what is makes “me” happy as the optimal decision bias.  Even though reality proves that the “happiness” is fleeting and this temporary enjoyment could very likely lead to long term misery.

We’ve seen evidence of this all throughout the Bible: Eve chose to eat the apple;  Abraham had a son with Hagar;  David gave into his desire for another man’s wife with Bathsheba.  There are examples in our lives every day:  telling the “white” lie to cover-up; condoning gossip and back-biting in order to be accepted; sneaking around outside of your marriage to get some “excitement”.  We have come to believe the absolute lie that we deserve happiness.  Truthfully, no one deserves happiness.  Happiness is a daily choice, NOT a destination.  You can chase happiness, but you will not find it.  And when our decisions are based on finding happiness, the consequences will be empty and quite often painful.

So, in this carnival we call life, when we choose all the fun and exciting regardless of personal morals or conscience, consequences can be overwhelming. Much like too much time on the Tilt-a-Whirl you are left off-balance, dizzy and maybe a little ill.  When the excitement wears off and the happiness is no longer palpable, guilt moves in to fill the void.  You can’t go back and undo your actions or unsay the words.  You can only live within this moment.  Eve chose the apple and mankind would forever have sin in our lives.  The consequences of Abraham’s choice to have a son with Hagar are still being played out in our world.  In an attempt to cover up his wrong decision, David would go on to commit murder and saw his own son eventually turn against him.  But, in each case, these people continued to seek God.  They were now on a different path in life and God would use them anyway.

We’ve all heard the saying “You made your bed, now lie in it.” The consequences will be there, even after forgiveness.  We must choose to make better choices and decisions.  Decide to move forward toward God’s will and plan for your life regardless of the current situation.  Avoid getting caught up in the endless whirlwind of running toward the next “ME” moment.  Accept the consequences and work through them.  Look out for those who depend upon you and put their needs first.  Make the decision to be happy today, where you are, even if you can’t understand how that could possibly happen.  You won’t make an instant difference, but you will invest in the future.

Consequences, both good and bad are what we reap. Make your harvest one of which you are proud.

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“Well, you’ve made your bed – now lie in it; you wanted your own way – now, how do you like it?” Proverbs 1:31  MSG