Social distancing. It can be boring. And, we all think that we are OK to be out and about. It’s those OTHER people that are the problem. Here are some things to consider in today’s environment:
While people are thought to be most contagious when they are most symptomatic (the sickest), some spread might be possible before people show symptoms. There have been reports of this occurring with this new corona-virus, but this is not thought to be the main way the virus spreads. The virus that causes COVID-19 seems to be spreading easily and sustainably in the community. So, we should probably enact the “better safe than sorry” attitude.
You may be taking every precaution and feel very safe about visiting with an at-risk person. But, can you guarantee that the people with which you have contact are taking the best precautions? What about their interactions with others? The best advice may be “Act like you are already contagious.”
Wearing gloves can protect your hands from coming in contact with the virus, but you still can pick up and spread the virus on the gloves. Wearing a pair of gloves all day may actually do more harm than good. Good hygiene is the best alternative.
Be aware of what you touch. Don’t forget to clean your phone, your mouse, your keyboard. Antibacterial gels/hand washing won’t do much good if the items your touch most often are never cleaned/sanitized.
Some of us are still required to go into the office to work. I carry a disposable towel with me from the car to the office and use it as a barrier when I have to touch the stair railing, door handles, elevator buttons and light switches. I dispose of it when I enter the office. I have a bottle of disinfectant that I used daily on my desk items, my desk phone and my cell phone, the copier buttons, light switches and door handles in the office. I wash my hands often and use Hand Sanitizer quite often. When I leave for the day, I reverse the process and use a disposable towel on the way to the car, taking advantage of the garbage cans in the parking garage. Then, I use my hand sanitizer before touching my steering wheel. Because I am still working in an office, I am hesitant to be around any high risk persons.
Social distancing is challenging. But, the better job I do at protecting others from ME, the faster the curve will flatten and life will return to normal (whatever that might be.)
We’ve all heard the story of “The Three Little Pigs’. The first little pig built his house out of straw. The second little pig used sticks. The third pig used bricks. The wolf was able to “huff and puff” and blow down the first and second houses, but the brick house withstood his efforts. As a child in VBS, I also remember singing the song about the foolish man and the wise man:
The wise man built his house upon the rock The wise man built his house upon the rock The wise man built his house upon the rock And the rains came tumbling down
The rains came down and the floods came up The rains came down and the floods came up The rains came down and the floods came up And the house on the rock stood firm
The foolish man built his house upon the sand The foolish man built his house upon the sand The foolish man built his house upon the sand And the rains came tumbling down
The rains came down and the floods came up The rains came down and the floods came up The rains came down and the floods came up And the house on the sand went smash.
So, how many of us truly heed the warnings of these two children’s stories?
We live in a “microwave” world. We have no patience to wait for anything. We eat fast food, drink coffee from pods, use credit to the extreme, treat sex as a dating option, and seek “happiness” above all else. We’ve lost the need or the desire to plan, wait and/or build something of value. We struggle and come apart over the “stuff”. We live in a culture that confuses wants with needs. I NEED a bigger house. I NEED a new car. I NEED the new phone. I NEED to be happy. I NEED to have the BEST.
Instead of being content with what we can afford, we buy and sell and trade. We save for the temporary things that we will tire of when the next newest thing is unveiled. But, we forget about investing in the things that matter. We are so intent in our pursuit of happiness, that people and relationships become secondary. We don’t take the time to repair and/or build our marriages or relationships. We treat relationships that should be the most precious with less regard than the latest IPhone.
As we build relationships, we establish a solid footing for marriage. We build the brick house for ourselves. When sex becomes the basis for my happiness, I build a house of straw or sticks without a foundation. A challenge or problem within the fragile walls will knock it down. I know that I’m old school. I do believe in the marriage vows “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.” Unfortunately, the truth of many a marriage is this: “to have and to hold today, (unless you disappoint me or become a bigger liability than an asset to my happiness) or until something better comes along.”
I do believe that we have to return to our strong belief in family values. I do not advocate the “Leave it to Beaver” life, but I do believe that marriage and family have to come first. My children were always important to me. I was the typical Momma Bear and they knew they could depend on me to stand up for them. However, my husband came first. If I did not focus on building a strong marriage, my kids wouldn’t have the family that they needed. These are the “bricks” that I have found critical to a successful life/marriage:
My Relationship with God
My Relationship with my spouse
Taking care of my children
I met both of my husbands through church. Faith has been a huge part of each of my marriages. Without God, I could not have survived some of the things I have endured. We believe that God is in control. We have to trust in Him for all our needs. My kids were also raised in the church. I would make a pallet on the floor of the gym where we had services and lay my baby on it while I practiced the hymns and/or offertories on the piano. Gracie learned hymns in the womb with I practiced. The church was a 2nd home to my children. Sunday’s were not optional. We would be in church that day. Never a question.
Date nights every month away from our kids are important. When my children were small and money was tight, we were known to drop them off with a sitter and go home to watch TV alone. It was what we did as much as just building time together, alone. It’s important to spend time growing together. It’s so easy to get pushed apart with children in the house. There’s so much to do. Sleep is often at a premium. It’s work to remain a couple and not just co-parents.
I’ve spent my life being a working a mom. I went to the office and sometimes traveled for work. I don’t think my children ever felt slighted. In fact, after being laid off and home for 9 months, they were ECSTATIC when I returned to the work force.
There are many, many options in life. I would challenge myself as well as others to decide which battles in which you engage. Is the fight for newest or the best “thing” critical to your life? Or, will it just bring a moment of happiness and feed the “NEXT” wolf? Will my house stand against the huffing and puffing?
Knowing the correct password—saying ‘Master, Master,’ for instance—isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, ‘Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.’ And do you know what I am going to say? ‘You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don’t impress me one bit. You’re out of here.’
“These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.
“But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.”
I think one of my favorite Christmas memories is from 1982. That was my first Christmas totally on my own. I had moved to Houston for my first “grown-up” job. This was the first Christmas that I purchased all my Christmas gifts with my own money. I loved shopping for the perfect gift for each family member. And what was even better? I didn’t have to limit myself to just one gift. I set my own budget and made my choices. It was great!
My next Christmas memory is from 1988, the first Christmas that I didn’t spend with my parents. It was the 2nd Christmas after Terry and I were married. I was pregnant with our son and we spent that Christmas in Houston. We were serving part-time in a church north of Houston and Christmas fell on a Sunday that year. The church leadership decided that we should have our normal Sunday School and Church service that Sunday as well as a Christmas Eve service on Saturday night. We spent weekends in a drab little house next to the church. The furniture was old, the bed uncomfortable. Our tree, gifts and dog were all in our apartment back in Houston. After the Christmas Eve service, Terry and I went back to our little weekend house. While he prepared spaghetti for supper, I went into the bedroom and cried. I was homesick and (if I’m honest) a little hurt by the lack of consideration from our church. After some discussion, we loaded up the spaghetti and headed back to Houston for the night. We got back to our apartment about 11:00pm. For our Christmas gifts, we had agreed to a dollar limit and decided to fill a stocking for each other. So, late that night, we feasted on spaghetti and opened our stocking gifts. We drove the 2 hours back to the little church in time for Sunday School the next morning. I was so grateful for the tenderness and understanding of my husband that Christmas. At was the greatest gift.
It’s hard to pick a favorite Christmas with my Kids. I loved shopping for them and seeing their excitement. I think I enjoyed even more, the days when we would take them shopping for each other. I will always remember the excitement of looking for the “best” gift for a sibling or a parent. I believe we taught them that giving is what Christmas is all about.
I find it disappointing when I see the joy of Christmas giving transformed into the greed of Christmas getting. When I hear comments like “No one asked me what I wanted” or “I don’t want some cheap thing, I want a REAL gift” my heart sinks a little. I don’t think it’s wrong to ask for input on Christmas gifts. But, I think it’s also acceptable to be creative and give from the heart. A handmade gift tells such a different story than a mass produced one. Have I gotten things I didn’t need or want? Yes. And, I try to find something to treasure in each gift, even if it’s only the thought.
Too many of us get caught in the trap of chr”I”stmas where “I” is the most important part of the word. When that happens, it’s all about ME:
“I” want (fill in the blank)
“I” need to be central this holiday season
“I” will not be inconvenienced.
“I” don’t care what you need unless it works for me.
“I” deserve to be happy.
The holiday season can be very difficult and life experiences often exaggerate issues.
The family that is missing a key member for the holidays, grieves for the loss of the person as well as many customs. You may not be able to carry on all of your traditions. Why not try something new this year. Don’t be afraid to be original. After my husband died, I didn’t want to celebrate. It took a few years to face Christmas with any type of joyful spirit. When we were ready, we changed a few things. Our tree was no longer traditional. It was white and decorated in pink, purple, orange and lime green. We used flamingos and boas to liven it up. We still added a Santa figure to Terry’s collection and a house to his village. But, we found new ways to move forward.
Blended families may being a competitiveness to the holidays. There may be a desire to provide the “best” experience. And, when adult children marry it adds another level of stress to the holidays. There are expectations of family traditions from every branch of the family. It can be exhausting trying to live up to it all. Young families need to set their own traditions and accept that not everything will remain the same. We celebrate the Sunday before Thanksgiving and Christmas with our children and their significant others. That’s frees up the actual holiday for whatever the individual family groups need/want to do. I’ll spend some “Mumzy time” with my grandson as well.
Too often, the holidays are a stress on the budget. You may feel the need to spend money you really don’t have and as a result, go into debt. I think I forget the lesson from the story of the Little Drummer Boy. He gave what he had. He played his drum. It didn’t matter that there were greater gifts being given. He gave what he had. When we give the best that we can, it shouldn’t have to live up to anything else. It is the BEST.
When “I” become the center of the holiday season, I miss the reason of the season.
When “I” stress about living up to the expectations that others set for me (or my gifts), I ignore the true gift that we celebrate each Christmas.
When “I” focus on what makes ME happy, I don’t have time to see what others need or have to offer.
I need to keep the holidays in focus. I need to remember that it is CHRiSTMAS and I have a very small part of it. The joy of Christmas is in celebrating the birth of Christ, the greatest gift EVER!
There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God’s angel stood among them and God’s glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:
Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.
As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. “Let’s get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us.” They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.
Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they’d been told!
dictionary defines faith as “complete
trust or confidence in someone or something”. In Hebrews 11:1, we find the Biblical
definition of faith: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance
about what we do not see.” Several times through the years, I’ve heard
speakers use a chair as a tangible example of faith. You see the chair. You believe the chair will support you. You have faith in the chair even though you
have not proven that it is strong enough.
So, what happens when you step out “on faith” and sit on the chair, only
to have it collapse beneath you? Was it
your faith that failed or was it the chair?
Most of us
would agree it was the chair that was at fault.
We will look for a reason to blame the failure. Maybe the chair was designed for a child and
you were just too big for it. Possibly,
the chair was cheaply constructed and the connections just “let go”. Or, maybe the chair was just old and brittle
and was no longer safe for use when you sat in it. Folding chairs are often
have a weight limit. It doesn’t matter
how much faith you exhibit, if you choose a chair that is undersized, defective
or unsafe, you will have to face failure.
But, I doubt you will swear of chairs for life. You will choose to sit in other chairs. You will just be more discerning about your
selection of seating.
So, when we
perceive that our faith in God has failed, what’s the issue? Did God really fail, or did we put our faith
in the wrong things? Too often, I
approach God with my list of wants. I
want Him to fix a relationship or a situation.
I want responsibility for which I’m not really prepared. I want things to stay the same and never
change. I want “stuff” and “things” that
I think will bring happiness into my life.
When I treat God like a Genie in a bottle or a kind of Santa Claus,
there are more failures than successes in my life.
What about that
relationship? Are you asking God to fix the
other person? Are there issues that are
incompatible with your goals and dreams?
What if you focused on growing yourself and becoming the better person? Faith is NOT “a magic wand” that will make
all of the issues disappear. Just like a
chair, you need to be aware of the things the other person may bring into your
relationship: bad temper, sexual promiscuity, control issues, poor spending
habits, stinginess, ego are just a few. The
other person may need to be “fixed”, but it’s not your place to decide
that. You are only responsible for
repairing the areas of your own life. I
believe in marriage. I also know that
marriage is hard. Really hard at times. It’s
even harder when you refuse to see the danger signals in a relationship.
How do we
define success? In our society, success is
often measured by the car that you drive, the diamond that you wear, the house
you buy and the admiration that others heap upon your accomplishments. I work near the River Oaks area. I drive through neighborhoods with large beautiful
houses. While there’s a part of me that
would love one of these homes, the practical side of me can only see the bills
that would have to be paid to maintain such a home and the hours of cleaning
that would be needed. Too many people
saddle themselves with debt in order to be seen as a success. When a young couple is just starting out,
there are enough stresses in a new marriage without adding extraordinary
debts. An extravagant wedding (that is
over far too quickly) is too often the focus instead of the marriage that is to
last a lifetime. The first home doesn’t
have to be a show place. It doesn’t even
have to be your “dream” house. Work up
to that. Give yourself time and room to
grow. Concentrate on who you are, on what
kind of family you want, before you commit to a huge mortgage and car payment.
I have faith that all my needs will be met.
But, all the faith in the world will not erase extravagant decisions and
the resulting debt that I choose to make.
job, success or amount of money will “make” you happy. Only you can choose to find happiness in a
situation. Faith may not make you warm
and fuzzy. Faith is not about “ME” and
my happiness. Anytime, I place the responsibility of my happiness
or (the blame for my unhappiness) on another person’s shoulders, there will be
failure. Being happy is a choice that
ONLY you can make. Nothing will make you
come (and they will) and nothing seems to be going my way, does it mean that my
faith has failed? Does it mean that God
has failed and I should just write him off?
After struggling with these questions after the death of my husband, I
have to answer “no” to both questions.
Because my faith says that God will meet my needs, I am reassured. Because my faith says that God loves me as a
Father loves his child, I am comforted beyond measure. Because my faith does not depend upon “happy
endings” and smiley faces, I stand confident that no matter what, God is still
in control. My faith has changed through
the years. It’s not as me-centric. My faith is stronger because of the rotten
things that have happened. My faith stands
even when the miracles I beg for do not occur, because I know there is a
reason. Ultimately, my faith tells me
that I’m not promised this world. What I am promised is an eternity with my
God. That is my hope. That is why my Faith never fails.
We operate in a world that preaches tolerance, flexibility
and understanding. Not bad ideals to
practice, in most cases. I, however,
have grown tired of being schooled on the “politically correct” response to
every situation regardless of my own beliefs and emotions. I understand that not everyone embraces my
upbringing, my history or my moral compass and I have no intention of forcing
my views onto anyone. But, at what point
do my actions stop being signs of flexible tolerance and become indications of
an untrue and even counterfeit life? Is
there a line where I am expected to stand up and voice my standards and beliefs
even if those very beliefs offend the social norm of today?
I grew up in North Texas in what is often called Tornado
Alley. Like many homes in that part of
the world, we had a storm cellar in our back yard. It had been built by my grandparents, and the
door was covered in sheet metal and made a wonder slide for play time. One day, I discovered that I could walk up
the door if I rubbed gasoline (from the 5 gallon container for the lawn mower)
on the bottoms of my rubber flip-flops.
I thought it was really neat.
That is until my mother discovered what we were doing. I was told it was dangerous to play with
gasoline. I wasn’t sure I understood the
danger, but I knew not to try it again.
Fast forward 30 years, when I met a friend who had been playing with
gasoline and had been badly burned as a result.
Now, I understood the dangers of the highly combustible fuel as well as
how fast fires can and will follow not only the liquid but the fumes. My mother was not flexible in allowing me to
have fun and play. She knew I was
playing with fire and did her best to protect me.
You may be thinking, “Of course she would stop you. So what?” This example is pretty cut and
dried. The danger was obvious. The actions were expected. So I ask:
How many times to we allow others (friends, children, family) to play
with “fire” in their lives rather than offend/anger them? There are so very many moral chasms that we
allow others to delve into without saying anything. After all, we live in a world where sex is
casual, attaining personal desire is the #1 goal and faith is only discussed as
the punchline of a joke. We speak of religion
without conviction and yet bristle when called religious. Christianity has become a social tag and the
Church a place to go on Sunday mornings IF I decide to get out of bed AND it
will benefit me in some way.
My husband uses the term “American
Christianity” to describe today’s social/religious Christian tag. American Christianity tends to focus on:
The importance of
the individual not the corporate vision or destiny of “the Church”.
prosperity instead of stewardship; using faith to attain stability and comfort
versus encouraging taking risks to advance the Kingdom.
and happiness rather than glorifying God and serving humanity.
Promoting a consumerist
mentality with regard to the home church and not the equipping for ministry; A
culture of entertainment that replaces the pursuit of God.
The church as a
building instead of a body that exemplifies a lifestyle of worship, community
and Christ following.
worship but not the effectiveness.
While each individual believer
is responsible for applying the Word of God to his/her own life, scripture was
given to the Church. When you read the
Old Testament, references are made about the Nation of Israel. In the New Testament, the community of faith
(the Church) was the focus of scripture.
As believers, we are to be a PART of the Body or The Church. We are not ‘stand-alone’ in our beliefs.
Only in the United States do
we believe we are “owed” prosperity.
Rather than being grateful for all that we have in our country, we pray
for greater things: bigger houses, nicer
cars, better paychecks. It would never
occur to most American Christians to sacrifice in order to provide for the
community around us. At most, we give a
tithe and expect a big return as a result.
If I hear one more person say “I
deserve to be happy”, I will scream! No
one ‘deserves’ to be happy. Did you read
that correctly? NO ONE DESERVES TO BE
HAPPY. An individual can CHOOSE to be
happy in any situation. When MY
happiness becomes my prime focus, I cannot focus on God. And just to close any gap that may
exist: God will NEVER use sin to bring
you happiness. An adulterous affair may
add a level of excitement and fun to your life, but is it worth the sacrifice
of your reputation and trustworthiness?
I struggle with entertainment
value attached to our American church services.
I struggle as a worship leader and as a participant. I know the danger of getting caught up in “performing”
on any given Sunday. The need to be part of the worship with the body fades if
I’m not on stage. The accolades from
others become my “worship” and I no longer look for ways to grow in my own
I believe we need to attract
people to our church services. But, more
important, I believe we need to be examples of a lifestyle of Christ following. When we show that worship is more than filling
space in a church building once a week, we influence the community is a greater
way. We make effective our worship and our
lifestyle. People are attracted to the
genuine. Worship as entertainment will
lose its appeal if there is no depth to it.
That’s why we are seeing an upswing in small group/family life
worship. My pastor has said “The Row
doesn’t know what you need, but the Circle does.” The Row represents where you sit in a church
service. The people on either side of
you have no idea what’s really going on with you. The Circle, however, represents the family
life group. That’s the small group that
hears you share on a weekly basis. That
may not be efficient, but it’s definitely effective in growing your spiritual
I want to be flexible with
people. I want to be that person that
loves regardless and sometimes in spite of the situation. I need to be a part of weekly worship and
daily growth in order to be my best self.
I cannot pretend to be something other than who I am. I will not be a counterfeit in this world
that promotes individuality but demands conformity.
“Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by
talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only
hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is
this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against
corruption from the godless world.”
We have a blended family that includes 5 adult
children that range in age from 20-30 years old. We are firmly entrenched in the marriage
stage of life. So far, we’ve had 3
weddings: Zac in 2016, Kyle in 2018 and
Reagan was married this weekend. Three
down and two to go.
As a parent, there are lots of thoughts and emotions
that arise when one of your children moves toward marriage. You want the best for your child. You pray they are making sound choices. There’s the joy (and lets be honest the stress)
of adding another person to your family as well as the new extended family. Weddings are fun, beautiful, joyful,
frustrating, tiring and hard work. And,
after the party is over, the REAL work begins in earnest.
Marriage is a constant exercise in give and
to statistics, almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. Researchers estimate that 41 percentof all
first marriages end in
divorce. Of the remaining 50 to 59 percent of
marriages, I wonder how many would rate their marriages as “successful”. I love being married. I was married for 18 years, widowed for 10
years and celebrate my fourth anniversary in a few months with my new
husband. I had a successful first
marriage and I consider my current marriage a success.
So, what makes marriage so difficult? I think the answer is pretty simple: selfishness. When I concentrate on “ME” and “MY WANTS”, I cannot put my marriage first. My selfishness takes precedence. I recently saw a sign that said: “Want a bad marriage? Put yourself first. “Want a good marriage? Put your spouse first. “Want a great marriage? Put God first.”
There is so much truth in these words. If I concentrate on what God wants, I will take care of my spouse. It doesn’t matter if my spouse reciprocates. I am still responsible for seeking a Godly marriage. And if my spouse also seeks a Godly marriage, so much the better!!
We’ve all heard and/or read 1
Corinthians 13, also known as “The Love Chapter”. I find that putting scripture into my own words, makes it a little
more real to me. This is my personal interpretation
of a few of the love verses.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 (Melissa’s
Love is valuable. It is worth everything to me.
Love keeps going even through the hard
gives to others instead of taking for itself.
is happy in its’ own yard. There are no greener pastures.
doesn’t exist only when it gets attention. Love
doesn’t allow my selfish wants to conflict with those I love.
doesn’t manipulate to get its’ way.
plays 2nd fiddle at times.
is calm in the face of conflict or disappointment.
has learned the art of forgive and forget.
doesn’t take pleasure in making others beg for attention
speaks the truth (even when it hurts.)
withstands any attack.
is from God and trusts that He is in control.
often wears “rose colored” glasses and sees the good in a difficult situation.
never asks “what if” and longs for something (or someone) else Love stands firm and stays true to its’
vows and commitments.
There are three things that will make me successful in life: Trust, Hope and Love. And Love is the one that is my focus.
We all crave love. We want to be adored and cherished. Too often, however, we confuse lust with love and settle for less than the best God has for us. We have found that we can avoid solving issues within relationships by moving on to new relationships. There is excitement in the chase. We use the excuses “I’m just not happy and I deserve happiness”, “We’ve just grown apart and have nothing in common”, or (the biggest lie from Satan) “God wouldn’t have brought him/her into my life if He didn’t want me to be with him/her.” Just as Eve allowed the Serpent to persuade her to eat the forbidden fruit, we listen to the world and throw love and commitment to the wolves in order to have a moment of excitement and fun.
As my children begin and continue
to grow their marriages and their own families, I pray that the words of 1
Corinthians 13 will ring true and keep them on the true path.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
We’ve all seen the sign that warns of tire damage if you backup. You can move forward and the spikes lay flat. But, backup or go the wrong direct, and your tires are shredded. There’s no turning back when you see this sign. You are forced to “go with the flow” and drive forward.
How many times have I wanted a “do over” during my lifetime? This is especially true after I’ve made a decision and things haven’t gone exactly as planned. My mind goes into overdrive with “what if” and “if only” thoughts. I’m plagued with plans on how to “go back” and “fix it;.” But, truthfully, that’s not an option. Any time spent trying to go back will be wasted and will come at a cost to myself and may to those around me.
“ But Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.”
Genesis 19:26 MSG
Lot and his family were living Sodom and Gomorrah. Angels visited and instructed Lot to take his family and “run for your life! Don’t look back! Don’t stop anywhere on the plain—run for the hills or you’ll be swept away.” God was saving them from the destruction that was coming. Lot had seen the debauchery. He and his family trusted the Angels and started on their way. But, what if the city wasn’t so bad after all? If only there was one more chance. Lot’s wife couldn’t move forward. She was too caught up in what she was leaving behind. She turned back and the entire family was affected by her decision.
“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”
Philippians 3:12-14 MSG
As a young mother, I remember being overwhelmed. I worked a full time demanding job. We had two young children. My husband and I always seemed to have more
month than money. It was easy to wonder:
“What if I was single and going out with
my co-workers? If only I didn’t have all
these responsibilities. Don’t I deserve
to be happy and have fun?” It was a
tough time in our marriage. Ultimately,
I realized that I couldn’t go back and could only move forward with the
decisions I had made about my life. And,
I’m so glad that I did.
In our world, choosing ME over anything is what
we are told to do. I need to find MY
happiness. I am the most important
person in my life. God wants ME to be
happy or He wouldn’t have brought (fill in the blank) into MY life. It’s too easy to find an excuse to abandon
what I have for something that “might be”.
I become my own worst enemy. I
plot and scheme to make God fit into the itinerary I have made for my
life. And when that doesn’t work, my
first thought is to try again. I’m
certain I know best. Sound familiar?
I’ve watched so many families/marriages implode
because reality has overtaken the fairy tale.
Things aren’t as perfect as we want.
Prince Charming’s armor is a little dented & tarnished and those
glass slippers really pinch your toes. You begin to look back, to wonder: “Maybe I married too quickly. What if I had waited for the Jack of Hearts
to take and interest. He’s really cute.” And before you even recognize what has
happened, you’re a pillar of salt. Stuck
in the wilderness you thought you wanted.
You’ve destroyed your future. You’ve
destroyed your family. In an effort to
recapture what might have been, you have chosen to backup and have suffered
severe “damage your tires.”
What can we learn from this? Is there any hope? I believe there is. While I don’t think any of us “deserve” to be
happy, I know that I can “choose” to be happy and content in any
circumstance. You see, when I stopped looking
at all of the fun that my single friends were having all those years ago, I
realized something. They were looking
for a life JUST LIKE MINE! Every one of
them wanted a home and a family. I must had to stop day-dreaming about what
might have been and embrace what really WAS.
My reality was a husband that loved me as much as he irritated me. My reality was a son and a daughter that just
wanted to spend time with me: quantity over quality. My reality was God always provided for all of
our needs. I made the decision to invest
in my less than perfect marriage. I
began to focus on what I could DO to bring joy to my husband and my children
instead of what I thought I was missing.
And you know what? The best
years of my marriage started right then!
“But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.” E
Ephesians 4:20-24 MSG
You can never go back. Whether good or bad, that is the past. You can only move forward.
“Remember what happened to Lot’s wife! If you grasp and cling to life on your terms, you’ll lose it, but if you let that life go, you’ll get life on God’s terms.”