Webster’s dictionary defines faith as “complete trust or confidence in someone or something”. In Hebrews 11:1, we find the Biblical definition of faith: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Several times through the years, I’ve heard speakers use a chair as a tangible example of faith. You see the chair. You believe the chair will support you. You have faith in the chair even though you have not proven that it is strong enough. So, what happens when you step out “on faith” and sit on the chair, only to have it collapse beneath you? Was it your faith that failed or was it the chair?
Most of us would agree it was the chair that was at fault. We will look for a reason to blame the failure. Maybe the chair was designed for a child and you were just too big for it. Possibly, the chair was cheaply constructed and the connections just “let go”. Or, maybe the chair was just old and brittle and was no longer safe for use when you sat in it. Folding chairs are often have a weight limit. It doesn’t matter how much faith you exhibit, if you choose a chair that is undersized, defective or unsafe, you will have to face failure. But, I doubt you will swear of chairs for life. You will choose to sit in other chairs. You will just be more discerning about your selection of seating.
So, when we perceive that our faith in God has failed, what’s the issue? Did God really fail, or did we put our faith in the wrong things? Too often, I approach God with my list of wants. I want Him to fix a relationship or a situation. I want responsibility for which I’m not really prepared. I want things to stay the same and never change. I want “stuff” and “things” that I think will bring happiness into my life. When I treat God like a Genie in a bottle or a kind of Santa Claus, there are more failures than successes in my life.
What about that relationship? Are you asking God to fix the other person? Are there issues that are incompatible with your goals and dreams? What if you focused on growing yourself and becoming the better person? Faith is NOT “a magic wand” that will make all of the issues disappear. Just like a chair, you need to be aware of the things the other person may bring into your relationship: bad temper, sexual promiscuity, control issues, poor spending habits, stinginess, ego are just a few. The other person may need to be “fixed”, but it’s not your place to decide that. You are only responsible for repairing the areas of your own life. I believe in marriage. I also know that marriage is hard. Really hard at times. It’s even harder when you refuse to see the danger signals in a relationship.
How do we define success? In our society, success is often measured by the car that you drive, the diamond that you wear, the house you buy and the admiration that others heap upon your accomplishments. I work near the River Oaks area. I drive through neighborhoods with large beautiful houses. While there’s a part of me that would love one of these homes, the practical side of me can only see the bills that would have to be paid to maintain such a home and the hours of cleaning that would be needed. Too many people saddle themselves with debt in order to be seen as a success. When a young couple is just starting out, there are enough stresses in a new marriage without adding extraordinary debts. An extravagant wedding (that is over far too quickly) is too often the focus instead of the marriage that is to last a lifetime. The first home doesn’t have to be a show place. It doesn’t even have to be your “dream” house. Work up to that. Give yourself time and room to grow. Concentrate on who you are, on what kind of family you want, before you commit to a huge mortgage and car payment. I have faith that all my needs will be met. But, all the faith in the world will not erase extravagant decisions and the resulting debt that I choose to make.
No relationship, job, success or amount of money will “make” you happy. Only you can choose to find happiness in a situation. Faith may not make you warm and fuzzy. Faith is not about “ME” and my happiness. Anytime, I place the responsibility of my happiness or (the blame for my unhappiness) on another person’s shoulders, there will be failure. Being happy is a choice that ONLY you can make. Nothing will make you feel happy.
When hardships come (and they will) and nothing seems to be going my way, does it mean that my faith has failed? Does it mean that God has failed and I should just write him off? After struggling with these questions after the death of my husband, I have to answer “no” to both questions. Because my faith says that God will meet my needs, I am reassured. Because my faith says that God loves me as a Father loves his child, I am comforted beyond measure. Because my faith does not depend upon “happy endings” and smiley faces, I stand confident that no matter what, God is still in control. My faith has changed through the years. It’s not as me-centric. My faith is stronger because of the rotten things that have happened. My faith stands even when the miracles I beg for do not occur, because I know there is a reason. Ultimately, my faith tells me that I’m not promised this world. What I am promised is an eternity with my God. That is my hope. That is why my Faith never fails.