Tag Archives: choices

Is Chaos a Choice?

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I like routines.  I survive with the illusion of being in control.  I do not accept change well.  My first defense is just to ignore what’s swirling around me and wait for the dust to settle.  But, the dust isn’t settling very quickly this time.  The world is caught up in the chaos for disease and failing economies.  I track the oil prices on my phone; not a comforting activity right now.  Social media has been both a help and a hindrance recently.  There are lots of resources being offered up, but the panic buying (hoarding) has also been fueled by some of the posts.  The news media seems to be more intent on scaring up a story than providing facts and information in a calm and helpful manner.   It’s hard to know what is real and what is just hype.

We are encouraged to practice social distancing.  Schools are on extended breaks.  Universities are moving to online classes only.  Some businesses are instituting remote work.  Other are beginning the furlough process (Unpaid Corona Vacations) for employees.  Restaurants have shifted takeout only.  Churches are using the internet to meet.  Stores are closing or cutting hours.  Groceries are scarce at times.  And, Toilet Paper has become the prime indicator of how well we are doing.  When it rains, it pours!  What are we supposed to do?

Chaos is defined as “a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order.”  I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m living the definition of chaos.  Over the past few months, there have been several very unsettling events that have thrown my life a little off-balance.  They didn’t happen to me directly, but they have affected me just the same.  These events brought change to MY normal and I reacted emotionally and spiritually.   As I have been trying to recover my balance, the stock market crashed, oil prices tanked, and the Coronavirus pandemic took center stage.  Although, I continue to go to work each day and I may seem to be in control, my mind is reeling as my world seemingly spins out of control.  I have to fight the urge to go into “Fix it” mode. 

My morning devotion was in Psalm 37.  One verse in particular (a very familiar one) answered the question “What am I supposed to do?)  Here are several versions of the 7th verse of Psalm 37:

“Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him.  Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top.” 

the Message

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” 

New International

“Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.” 

King James

“Be still before the Lord; wait patiently for Him and entrust yourself to Him; Do not fret (whine, agonize) because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.”

Amplified

Be still.  Right.  Easier said than done.  I do not WANT to be still and wait.  I want things back to normal.  But, right now, being still is the best thing that I can do.  I can be still in my home, away from the rush.  Families will have the time to eat meals together, to play games together, and to just BE together.  There are no extracurricular activities that require our attendance or attention.  We can choose to use this time to connect deeply with our spouse and/or children or we can waste the time fretting and binge watching on the internet.   We can moan about having to eat at home or enjoy the creativity of prepping meals together, even if that means helping to unpack the take-out.  We can worry about where the economy is headed or take advantage of opportunities to save money during this distancing period.  We can allow the chaos to eat us alive, or we can turn to God and allow Him to speak to each of us in the quiet.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to spend more time in the quiet.  I’ll practice being still before God.  I will spend time in His word.  I will once again spend time drawing, journaling and creating in order to connect with my refuge and my strength. 

I choose to see this chaotic time as an opportunity to reconnect, to return to my roots, to grow in my faith. I will be still.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.’

Psalm 46: 1-10 NIV

Am I Human or Just Dumb?

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To err is human, to forgive divine. All people commit sins and make mistakes. God forgives them, and people are acting in a godlike (divine) way when they forgive.

“An Essay on Criticism”  by Alexander Pope

We all make mistakes in life.  Some are more painful than others.  The assumption is that we learn  from the mistakes and  do not repeat the same one.  The reality is, you can can only make a mistake once:  the 2nd time is a choice. So, if we keep making the same mistake/choice, does that mean we are just dumb?  All through life, we learn things.  Sometimes, we take the advice and teachings of those around us.  But, there are the times that we get burned testing our boundaries.

When I was a child, I was fascinated watching my mother test the heat of the iron.  She would touch her finger to her tongue and then touch the the bottom plate of the iron.  I decided that I wanted to iron my paper doll clothes.  So, I did all of the things I had observed my mother do in the past.  Except, I didn’t lightly touch the iron.  I pressed my index finger to the metal plate.  I had been told many times not to touch the iron because it would burn me.  The pain and the resulting blister (and the scorched paper doll dress) were reminders to heed the warnings. 

But, my need to prove myself didn’t stop there.  It was around the same time of my life.  We were at an Easter egg hunt at my grandparents farm in Foard City.  It was a big family get-together and there were lots of eggs to find.  My Aunt Ruth, who was just a few years older than me, stopped me and pointed out some pretty pink flowers and pointedly told me NOT to pick them.  I went on about the business of hunting eggs, but I kept thinking about those bright pink flowers.  Ruth and I often would go pick wildflowers around the farm and I wondered why she was being so selfish about those pretty flowers.  In hindsight, I don’t think I had even noticed the flowers before being told to leave them alone.  But, now, I was obsessed with them.  I decided to show my aunt that I could pick any flower I wanted and deliberately grabbed the bright pink blossoms with both hands. 

Prickly Pear Cactus

If you have ever encountered a Prickly Pear Cactus, you know about the sharp spines.  I didn’t manage to pick any of the flowers, but I did get both hands full of needles and spines.  All because I was so caught up in having my own way and not paying heed to warnings that I had received.

From the time of Adam and Eve in the garden, we have been inclined to test every rule and push every boundary.  If the speed limit is 60 mph, we drive 65 mph or more.  A sign that says “WET PAINT” is more of an invitation to touch it than a warning.  We make dumb comments for excuses when ignoring rules or warnings: 

  • “It’s just a little white lie.  It doesn’t hurt anyone”
  • Texting isn’t a problem when I drive”
  • “If I can serve my country at 18, I should be able to drink!”
  • “It’s not cheating on my spouse if I’m not happy.  I deserve to be happy”
  • “God wouldn’t have brought him/her into my life if He didn’t want us together.”
  • “As long as I go to church on Sunday, I can do anything I want.”
  • “I don’t need a church to feel close to God.  I am a spiritual person and do just fine on my own. 

And my favorite dumb comment. . .

  • “It’s just sex.  It’s not important.  It doesn’t mean anything”

I have done things in my life that were just dumb.  I would bet most people have.  I have hurt other people and I’ve had to apologize for my actions/words.  And, I’ve been wounded by people for whom I cared deeply and then I had to learn to forgive.  I’ve got a good grasp on the “err” and “dumb” actions.  The “divine” part is a little harder. 

I’m grateful that God is divine.  He is forgiving and merciful.  I try to remember that I really don’t want life to be fair, because I want the benefits of mercy in every situation.   Even so, I know there are consequences when I step over the line.  The results may not be as evident as a blistered index finger or a hand full of cactus spines, but there are penalties that have to be paid.  Whether it is a fine for a speeding ticket or the loss of the trust and respect of my loved ones, there are always consequences. 

A favorite verse from the Old Testament talks about consequences and forgiveness:

If I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or if I command the locust swarms to eat up all of your crops, or if I send an epidemic among you,  then if my people will humble themselves and pray, and search for me, and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear them from heaven and forgive their sins and heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:13-14 TLB

There will be payment for breaking the rules,  choosing to rebel or ignoring the guidelines and instructions you have been given in this life.  Usually, the retribution is much worse than the enjoyment of the moment of rebellion.  My prayer is that I become more divine, more God-like in my choices.  I must face my issues and follow the best path, not necessarily the one that benefits me the most.  I must forgive those that cause me pain and be willing to pray for them, even when I just HATE doing that.  I must honor my promises and my vows in all areas of my life. 

What do your choices in life say about you?  Are you just human or moving toward the divine?  How many will admit to just being dumb when it comes to making decisions?


Struggles

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I have begun and stopped at least a dozen posts.  There’s so much I want to say, but the thoughts seem incomplete and unimportant.  I struggle with what to say, what to share.  I see so much around me, both good and not so good.  But, putting the words around those moments has proven difficult.

I watch friendships that come and go for so many reasons.  I don’t think all relationships are meant to last forever. There are some people that come into our lives for a season and then we move on in different directions.  What I’m seeing, though, are relationships that are coming apart because there are so many conditions that are set forth.  The most common condition:   “I can’t spend time with you if he/she will be there”  or the more definitive “You have to choose, it’s me or him/her.”  But the most interesting spin on these conditional friendships is that the conditions are usually not reciprocal.  The same person that forces the choice also requires unconditional acceptance of all of his/her own relationships.

I see snap judgments made with very little knowledge of the circumstances.  It’s easy to jump to the obvious conclusions.  It’s much harder to look through the  details and find out the circumstances that surrounded the event or person.  Not all information that is provided through the news or social media is complete or even correct.  I remind myself that a cup of salt and a cup of sugar look a lot alike, but they impart very different results.  It’s time to stop assuming everything is at face value and look deeper.

I realize how easy it is to forgive and forget a “pet” sin.  Adultery, promiscuity, little white lies, petty theft are easily excused and often expected by the majority of the population.  But, make a mistake or forget something that is involved with one the “causes of the day” and expect be hung out to dry.  Political correctness, bullying, gun control are all examples of causes that get a lot of attention very quickly.  One misstep and you are toast.

I mourn the loss of discipline in the home and schools.  Where are the strong parents that created strong homes to provide the framework for successful children?  Instead, we have given rise to the “helicopter” parent that is just trying to force the schools and society to adapt to “MY CHILD”.  Where is the discipline in schools that commanded respect? It has been eroded away, bit by bit, by the parents who see no wrong in their own special and perfect hell raiser and the leadership that is afraid of repercussions.

I’m exhausted by the total obsession with “me, myself and I” that surrounds us.  All of the above would be remedied by taking time to look around and try to understand.  But, I can’t see others if I’m focused on me.  Am I a cup of sugar or a cup of salt?  How will I affect the recipe of life around me?