When Aretha Franklin recorded this Otis Redding Song, she declared she was a strong & confidant woman who has everything a man could want. She demands his respect. But, what is RESPECT?
I ask the question because we don’t seem to understand the term in this day and age. Respect is given to a person we admire, to a position of authority or honor, or to a boundary that denotes space or possession. Respect can be defined in several ways and the definition in which I am most interested is:
“to consider worthy of high regard” syn: admire, appreciate, consider, esteem, regard
Throughout my life, I have known people that I personally had difficulty respecting. Due to personal or work ethics, I did not respect anything about them. I could however, respect their position of authority. It was easy to complain and whine about the how unworthy these persons were. It often proved to be very difficult to give respect to the position they held. But, I knew it was necessary for me to do just that. In a business setting, I could force myself to give at least a token respect since my job quite literally could depend upon it. Unfortunately, I think it can be particularly difficult to respect a position or a stand, when the offense is from a member of our family or the Church.
Philippians 2: 1-8 (MSG) says this:
“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human!Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.”
If Christ was able to put aside his own status and take on the status of a slave, then shouldn’t I be able to offer grace to those people that just drive me nuts? Christ knew that Judas would betray Him. Yet, He still included Judas within the twelve. He still showed love and compassion to His betrayer. Is there anything in my world that excuses me from giving that same love and compassion and even respect to others in some form?
Respect is almost a foreign concept in our world where “self” is the most important part of life. We are told:
- You deserve to happy. Don’t waste your life. Chase happiness.
- The harder you work, the more you will get, and the happier you will be.
- It’s a dog eat dog world. Grab what you can before it’s gone.
- Whoever has the most “stuff” wins.
When I, ME, and MINE are the most used terms in my vocabulary, esteem of others is impossible. If I refuse to take responsibility when I hurt or offend another person, I show just how much I respect them. When I gossip, complain or talk about friends or family to others, I lose the respect and trust of the very people I am attempting to impress.
There are lots of areas where disagreement is not only possible but encouraged. We see that evidenced in all areas of politics. And I’m using the term “politics” quite broadly. Aside from the government, politics encompasses the total complex of relations between people living in society. We see politics in our family and business relations. We have seen the politics of the Church evidenced from the time of the Pharisees all the way through the various denomination squabbles of today.
We can have disagreements. We can have convictions. But, ultimately, we have to find a way to be “deep-spirited”: especially within the Church. In my younger days, I had no patience with anyone that didn’t follow the letter of the law. I was a self appointed judge and jury who practiced religion. And no matter how meticulous I was, my actions were worthless because my motives and actions were not based upon the grace that I myself had been given. There are areas that are not up for debate, but that doesn’t mean that I have the right to run roughshod and force-feed my convictions to others. As I matured, I realized the need for tenderness. I found that allowing a person grace and compassion was much more effective in guiding them to the truth. And, along the way, I discovered that some of my “laws” were really based on religion not faith. Respect doesn’t mean I have to agree with you. I don’t even have to approve of you or your actions. But, I do need to respect the person that God has lovingly created.
That’s a hard pill for this controlling person to swallow at times. I’m still learning. I’m still trusting. I pray that I’m T-C-B: Taking Care of Business.