For years I hated the  new year. Each new year took me into another year without my husband , Terry. Truthfully, I wasn’t a fan of Thanksgiving or Christmas either. The holidays were just a reminder of what I had lost.  For 10 years, I just survived the holiday months. 

However, grief has taken a different role the last 9 years. I can now relate to the last chapter of Job:  

“After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters.” Job‬ ‭42‬:‭10‬, ‭12‬-‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I now live in a blended family. My son and daughter have married & added a grandson. I am blessed with my “not the daughter” and her husband and son. And, I have gained a new husband, 3 kids and their spouses and 4 grandchildren.  Life is full and busy. Love abounds. 

I understand how Job might have felt.  I still grieve the life that might have been. There are still seasons when memories of Terry overtake me and the tears flow.  I will carry that grief forever as a part of me.  Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. It doesn’t  go away. Time isn’t the magic healer of grief. The scars of grieve remain for life. 

As unwelcome as grief can be, it has taught me much.  I am a more compassionate person.  I’m more thoughtful with what I say to others that suffer losses. I hold my family closer and treasure each moment.  I understand 1 Thessalonians 4:13b more than ever:  “do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” I grieve with the hope of eternity. I grieve knowing God’s plan is perfect. Grief doesn’t mean a lack of faith. Rather great grief is the result of great love. 

As I look forward to the new year of 2025. I don’t know what it will bring. I look forward to living and learning and (I hope) laughter and joy. 

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